Chris Caswell

I had just started a new job and was working 50 hour weeks when cancer, specifically melanoma, turned my life upside down. It all started as a scab on my head that kept growing. I was referred to my local hospital and had an operation, which involved cutting away a large area of my scalp measuring around 10cm by 10cm. They then used a skin graft, which saw healthy skin removed from my leg, to cover the area. The leg was particularly painful as the dressing kept slipping. I remember it well, as five days after the op I was standing in the receiving line at my son’s wedding. At that point I was relieved it had been sorted and was looking forward to really focusing on my new job.  

 

It was a few days later that I noticed what looked like rais ins starting to grow around the wound on my head and doctors said I would potentially need more surgery. However, it turned out that further surgery was not going to be possible. I was in the office when I received the call and remember a colleague coming and putting a hand on my shoulder and asking if I was ok. In shock I just said, ‘no, I don’t think I am.’ It appeared that I had a very aggressive form of melanoma and was referred to the team at Royal Surrey. What I didn’t know then was that without treatment my life expectancy was about six weeks.  

 

As a father and grandfather, I chose to keep what was going on quite light with my family,  just  telling them that the cutting it out hadn’t worked, and that I was going to start treatment. I chose to keep the information I shared to a minimum because I wouldn’t have been able to answer their questions. If I am being honest, I was also a bit numb, how could a small scab lead to all this is such a short time.

 

A PET scan revealed that my cancer had spread to at least 10 sites within my body, including my brain. For the first time I felt that I had lost control over my own life and was relying on other people to do their best to fix me. I just wanted them to do it as quickly as possible so I could get back to focusing on my new job.

 

I had never heard of immunotherapy before, but within a matter of days I was receiving my first infusion. This put my body into hyper drive to attack the melanoma and it was at this point that I stopped working to focus on my treatment. Initially I just felt numb and then came the tiredness. It was tiredness like I had never known and I was sleeping 22 hours a day. Sadly, the side effects didn’t stop there. I suffered so severely that I started to fear my days were numbered. After two doses I was so weak and had lost so much weight that I was hospitalised for eight days. I remember questioning whether I could do it anymore and worried how I would tell my family and friends that this was it.

 

I am a typical man and when the doctors asked me how I was coping, I would just reply, ‘I’m fine.’ However, when I finally showed my doctor my side effect diary he realised that I wasn’t coping. Thankfully, there was powerful medication that could help. This changed everything and suddenly I felt invincible, full of energy and planned to enjoy what time I had. I bought a fast car and went on a holiday to the Isle of Wight, choosing the location because I could be back at Royal Surrey within two hours.

The immunotherapy got easier as it continued and reduced to a single drug. When it was time for another PET scan, my only hope was that my cancer was static and that it had not continued to explode through my body. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing when my consultant said he had never seen anything like it before and my scan was clear. I remember checking that he was sure, and querying if the machine was working correctly. I also asked him to double check my results. I don’t think it sunk in for the next three to five days the enormity of what had happened.

 

I became a member of MelaNoMore, a melanoma cancer support group, run by patients, for patients at Royal Surrey. I am proud to say I helped to set up the Buddies Scheme. This offers support via a one-to-one pairing with a ‘buddy’ who is further down the melanoma path with a patient who is newly diagnosed or starting a new treatment. It provides an opportunity to share information, discuss worries, including the physical and mental roller coaster ride of cancer, with someone who has walked the path you are embarking on. In just over three years we have made nearly 900 support contacts.

 

I have never felt able to return to work, as my mental capacity has not returned to what it was. Life has continued for me, but at a slower rate. I feel like I have been very lucky and treasure being five years cancer free and have lasting gratitude for being pulled back from so close to the edge by the oncology team at Royal Surrey.